June 19, 2025

I haven’t written anything for public exposure for months. Experientially, I am living on a green island in the middle of Taos, New Mexico and everything beyond my house and garden is an imaginary construct, but how did I come to be here at this time?

I’ve lost names and titles. I think I’ve been gone a long time, although real time doesn’t apply here in the clock and calendar sense. The person who wrote my last blog entry, is not present very often, lately. Today I’m hoping to get a few words from her. Her old shyness has put down some new roots and is holding to the deep earth very tightly. I believe it’s time to re-emerge.

Since PQ (Pha-quin-ee-e) Standing Deer, (I almost forgot how to write his Tiwa name) left this mortal coil I’m undergoing reconstruction and losing memory of my identity from three or was it four years ago. My hidden self is packing up the furniture and moving to a new location, and I don’t know yet what the new place will be, or if it will even be within the same Earth vibration. I’m learning that there is more than one earth, and we are being squeezed out of the one most of us believed was solid. It seems that we usually assume that earth, stars, and all that traffic in the cosmos is discoverable by form and action, but what if the cosmos, and our little mudball is still being created, and at the least being revealed to those of us who didn’t know that Terra Ferma is not firm and not finished becoming.

After PQ died, the body of our shared neighborhood began to change drastically, as if there was to be an audition for a new role.  New next-door neighbors moved in, and I can only imagine how PQ would have reacted. They keep several large dogs in a small pen on the other side of a fence near my bedroom window. The couple occupying the house, are an exaggeration of how to be an unpleasant neighbor. They scream incoherently at each other, collect trash for a living, (yes, a big truck comes by now and then and collects and trades). The police visit often but there is nothing they can do, except to tell the occupants to tone down because the neighbors have complained. I never complain, because instinct tells me it’s best not to rouse reactions on the other side of the fence. There is a reason for all the strange things that have happened since PQ passed, and I find the trail of crumbs leading to long ago and far away.

There is evidence, that we always live in more than one tier of reality even when we don’t know it. I stay away from TV news, because it isn’t news, it’s propaganda which is becoming very transparent. I watch humanity becoming accustomed to horrible events as if in an action film, which is probably what it is. It is real on one dimension and a deceptive distraction on another. Unfortunately, our attachment to the 3-D world is being constantly and I believe deliberately loosened by electronic media. I believe it is good, to recognize several dimensions but keep them sorted. We too easily assume that we can trust certain sources of input. I’m sure this will be increasingly brought to our attention until we consult our higher self for transparency.

For myself old entertainments no longer convincing. They seem hollow after borders between worlds fade away. I have hundreds of books, but something is missing that used to be revelatory. I wish I remembered the titles from which I’ve made many discoveries, but the titles are gone from memory. However, the core (heart) ideas are still alive and are dancing with each other on another dimension. It is this “other” dimension that is moving over me like a clarifying rain over the smoke from a dying fire.

When PQ died, I put my houses in order again, both inner and outer houses. He told me, “You have work to do after I’m gone. I didn’t want to hear it because I thought he and I had work to do as a team.  We were both right. We have the same boss, same department, but different tasks now, and I can’t hide behind him. Here I am without cover for the first time in many years.

I voted for the wrong person for president last year because there was no right person, and I knew that the group mind that produces candidates will be exposed before long by its worn-out apparel, and better sooner than later. Was that an arrogant miss calculation? Perhaps, but it seemed that the situation would play out and disintegrating tatters would soon fly in all directions. It seemed best that a person suitable for the next stage of our world drama would be waiting in the wings, perhaps not born yet. Such a mind/heart wouldn’t have a chance now.  Not until the wrong way is fully exposed and makes space for a new system, with a new assignment designed for viable reality. The right person or persons will never fit until the time is right.

We all live within more than one planet. I say within instead of on, because we are not unconnected pieces running around on the outer edge, but integral parts spanning many layers. I’m just learning that there really is no outer and inner dimension, just a mental construct which makes our lives easier to consciously manage. Our earth trip is just a blink of the cosmic eye, and we assume that our small vision sees all there is. Most of the time we see what we already believe exists. I say most of the time, because “the times they are a changin”, as Bob Dillon said. I’m a believer in the concept of many parallel realities. Of course, those who try to experience them simultaneously, are usually dismissed as schizophrenic. It is important to relate to parallel realities with some agreed border between them. Perhaps like a fence between fields, or for the city type, a lift between floors.

However, we choose to categorize different realities, they are becoming more accessible even to those who don’t believe in more than one at a time. I thought I was open to glimpses of other realities, but I’m discovering that it’s easy to miss the road signs if one is in the habit of driving on autopilot. Perhaps the electronic world that many of us take for granted is the instrument perfectly designed to keep us separated from each other’s experience under the false assumption that we agree on what the real world is.

Maybe that is why people are becoming intensely polarized into a black or white version of existence. On a now you see it now, you don’t foundation we struggle for substance. The only source of stability is the assumed source of being itself and no human can fully know it. Sacred texts tell us it is beyond knowing since it is our source. The knower cannot supersede its source.

The problem for we humans comes when we try to recreate ourselves within our milieux. We end up thinking below rather than above our state of being. Yet, mistakes reveal desires. And the sorcerer’s apprentice instinctually, if prematurely seeks to claim its magic heritage.

I believe that we each come in with a plan. If we have already been through many rounds, and emerge as an enlightened being, we more easily find a way to apply an experienced plan to the circumstances. Either way, it is the higher self that leads the way, and then we come up against a wall that the ego self can’t fly over or deny. This requires an alchemical approach and that is an evolution in consciousness, a rebirth if you will. There were probably some alchemists who were literally trying to make gold out of base metals. I’ve read that it could be done with more effort perhaps than it was worth, but more commonly it was a symbolic transformation of the soul, not to leave the physical but to recognize that vibration of energy is all there is.

In our modern world that grew up to believe that spirit was an imaginary construct of religion for the purpose of controlling the population, modern physics is melting that concept of life force in a modern alchemical retort. Religion largely failed to spiritualize us and was more successful in despiritualizing the physical world. It seems now that physical and spiritual are merely vibrational levels. We really are made of no-thing. It is also a time of naked emperors, but life force is “within, without, and all about.”