Yesterday was our FIRST anniversary, but what a strange day. From the beginning, chemtrails filled the sky, and there was a dirty gray heaviness that we couldn’t shake. Chemtrails used to make me sick immediately but in recent years, they usually have little noticeable effect. Nevertheless, there was something unreachable about the day. It was almost as if I was only half-present and couldn’t get all the way through to one dimension or the other.
We drove over to Ojo Caliente and around the loop to Espanola, up the canyon and back home. PQ suggested we do the hot springs but I literally could not stomach the idea of being in hot water. Our big splurge was lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant in Espanola and picking up a few small items at the super WalMart. Everything seemed blah. I realized the restaurant wasn’t as good as I remembered, and the super WalMart seemed uninteresting (there wasn’t anything I couldn’t leave there even if it was free), and full of obese people who looked as disconnected as I was. We did see PQ’s sister Bernice and her granddaughter at WalMart and that was our only social connection of the day.
The evening before was energetically the opposite; clear and sharp. This year we attended the that photographer Lenny Foster organizes at each year. This event is a party and group photo shoot for all the artists of Taos. Although we didn’t stay long, we saw many people we know and enjoyed both the Damm Band (that's their name) and the splendid view of Taos Mountain.
This morning is almost back to normal, but not quite. Something changed yesterday, but I can’t put a finger on it. Neither of us was upset about the strangeness of our anniversary day, we have many wonderful days together, but something definitely moved us sideways from one energy field to something different. I considered denial since I like the way our life is now, but it wasn’t an option. We definitely are at the trail head of a different walk.
I know there is a shift in life style in the works; I just don’t know what it is. About ten days ago PQ said, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I want to get my hair cut. I’m ready for something new,” so we went to Nicole, a lovely Dine’ hair stylist and barber. She knew something of the native tradition and after the cut carefully swept up the hair, placed it in paper bag and we took it to the Rio Grande above the John Dunn Bridge and sent it down the river with prayers.
We can’t legally rent either of our houses, mine is a Habitat for Humanity house and his is a HUD house on the rez, so that’s not an option for generating enough income to spend the winter in Arizona, but PQ really needs to be at the lower altitude. Maybe we should buy lottery tickets. Nevertheless, I sense that the options are wide open and anything I can imagine isn’t big enough. Something different is trying to break through the muck and I’m working on a little more faith and courage. Eventually the Earth will turn over enough times and I’ll look back at now and wonder why I couldn’t see through chemtrails and silly habits. I hope!