Sunday, July 29, 2018

FINDING BALANCE IN A WARPED WORLD

I’m thrilled to see that recently rare honeybees are back and they are buzzing around the flowers on the patio and near the sidewalk. Then I notice there are almost no grasshoppers. That flock of magpies that landed in the Cottonwood tree a few days ago must have had a feast. This is very encouraging. For me, it means that nature is still working toward a balance despite official human efforts to suppress and overwhelm everything natural. Bees, grasshoppers and magpies are a source of information that we seldom notice, especially in the city. Significantly, they are all participants in one system.

Habitat for Humanity is building again in our neighborhood. We are losing our last clear view of the mountains behind us, so I am planning to plant another vine on the fence for more privacy now that there is no use in preserving the view. So, that is the way life is on the micro level. It is in constant movement and readjustment, just as it is on the macro level.

Angel Approaching Mother Earth
We are still grieving our inability to visit Cottonwood/Sedona several times a year. I haven’t given up. It served an excellent purpose for us. It was a wonderful balance for the suffocating psychic walls sometimes enclosing us in Taos. I suspect I feel this more than PQ. This is his hometown and he has many old friends and some regular new friends. I am grateful for the new friends. Many of the people I once connected with have moved onto other horizons. Although many people my age have settled in with family and old homies, I actually feel that my soul has moved onward and outward.

 Locationally, my wings are clipped. This free-range chick has a small pen. Early in my Taos days, I was amazed that many old-timers seemed to know so little about what was going on in Town. Now I’m guilty of the same. The post office, grocery stores, Walmart, art supply store and a few restaurants, most of them on the same main street are all we see most of the year.  

We are involved in two more documentaries, Man of Many Colors about PQ and his art, and Third Act about creative women over fifty. In addition, Awakening in Taos is expected to air on PBS this fall. We have met some wonderful people who have become special friends in the process of making these films. This would not have happened if we were not in Taos, or at least Northern New Mexico. Yes, this area is the solid earth beneath our feet, both literally and soulfully, and seems to be starting a new phase, but I want to fly over the fence now and then. Not to get away, but to spread my wings and look at the world with a wider more comprehensive scope.  Who is stopping me? I’m not sure. Of course, we have been challenged materially the past few years, but I suspect that is partially a result of the same confusion and lack of focus on my part. Whenever there seems to be an invisible impediment, past experience tells me I am on the threshhold of an expanding view. I am reminded of one of my first trips to Taos. I was coming from Ojo Caliente and decided to take a shortcut. It was a beautiful day and I became more excited as the mountain grew larger. Suddenly the gorge plunged down in front of me, I couldn't see if the road continued for awhile and then saw fisherman far below and a pickup winding up the other side. The unplanned diversion to Taos became an exciting discovery.

I’ve been painting and re-painting a leafless tree in a harsh but beautiful landscape for several years. I am stuck. I can’t seem to get beyond this image. I look at my past work that seemed good until recently and now I realize I am different and those themes are of the past. The leafless tree is a self-portrait. It is dormant just as I have been. I feel something .unkown  is coming in—that is a good thing.


To destroy an undesirable rate of mental vibration, put into operation the Principle of Polarity and concentrate upon the opposite pole to that which you desire to suppress. Kill out the undesirable by changing its polarity.—The Kybalion