In the previous three weeks there were several forest fires in New Mexico and a fire in the White Mountains of Arizona blowing east into New Mexico. This is very hard on PQ’s lungs so we stayed inside with the doors closed most of the time. And yet my Taos garden was doing well and I thought the wind that has been blowing since mid February and the fires surely would be over soon and I could enjoy my summer gardening. Every morning that the weather permitted we had coffee on the flagstone patio in my backyard and PQ talked to the birds. We gave leftover tidbits to the local magpies and watched them enjoy our cafeteria. The Starlings that live in my bathroom vent stand sentry on the neighbor’s roof and they also talk to PQ. These birds have an amazing vocabulary and he is trying to learn it. In response to his efforts they flap their wings and cackle. We were trying to make the most of living in Taos this summer even though the altitude and smoke were a problem for PQ.
Nevertheless we were longing to be in Cottonwood Arizona again. I couldn’t see how this could happen in the immediate future but among my secret fantasies of possible scenarios a house-sit entered my daydreams here and there. We didn’t bring up this topic often because we had resolved to make the best of the current situation but sometimes we updated each other on our fantasies. I began to accept that once a good opportunity like the one we had last year comes and goes its lame to keep trying to make it happen again. But I’m being pulled in two directions. One day I feel that for myself there is little to keep me in Taos. The wonderful energetic sparking of 10 years ago has been gradually falling away and Taos feels like a plastic flower that is beginning to fade. But I’m not sure if it is Taos or me. I was stuck in a rut and didn’t know what would change this. Where had the old magic gone? Nevertheless, there were many good things, too. Our favorite restaurants, running into old friends and of course my garden. For PQ there was his kids and grand kids the 42-inch TV and Netflix.
|Century Plant blooming on Soldier's Pass trail|
During this time back in Taos I was also examining the paradoxes of my desires and the results of those desires. It seems that there are areas of life that flow very easily and other areas that dead-end over and over. What am I doing wrong? What makes the difference? Where are my guides now? But perhaps I attend too much to what I think isn’t working.
Then two weeks ago our friend Carol called and asked if we would be interested in house-sitting at her home in Cottonwood. She needed to go back east to help her brother find a better housing arrangement for their mother. She knew how much we liked being here and she knew her own little garden would expire in the heat if no one took care of it. In addition our friends who moved to the Taos area from Cottonwood last fall had reached a fork in the road. Having spent the winter in a dark overcrowded cubbyhole they each needed more personal space for their work and private life. I asked Todd if he would be up to staying in my house while we were gone and I could see right off that it was going to be of mutual benefit. He is almost the ideal house-sitter. All of these things fell into place immediately. I’m once again aware that when wishes and prayers manifest they generally sneak in so organically that they are easy to miss. Of course as is the case with many direct answers to prayers and wishes we ended up here without really grasping how magical it was. Four people had a simultaneous synchronistic manifestation experience and it all seemed simple and normal.
The items that grab our attention aren’t necessarily the most significant events but expose the personal deficits we focus on. We’ve connected with old friends, took some walks among the red rocks, saw the Century Plants blooming for the first time, ate in our favorite restaurants and enjoyed freedom from smoke and wind. This is manifestation on a fairly small level but that is a judgement that the greater consciousness, that which theologian Paul Tillich called “the ground of all being” doesn’t make. After all nature doesn’t judge between the big and the small and nothing is important or unimportant from a cosmic perspective. I’m learning to be. I don’t really know anything but its fun to anticipate whatever is around the next turn because each new view changes everything about all the previous views but not in a negative way. Its much like turning a kaleidoscope, the same elements have infinite combinations.